Commitment

I have just spent an INORDINATE amount of time trying to set up my blog, figuring out if I'm selling my soul by monetizing my account, wondering about all of those "I agree to" boxes I check-marked, and fretting over pics, fonts, and edits galore.  I started writing about my pansies, then had to "draft" that post because what is truly on my mind is... well... what exactly am I committing to here?  Is blogging a good way to spend my time?  I like the idea of the whole blogging gig because I like to share, I like to write, I like to read (in spurts) and I like my self-selected topics, and I like the social aspect (presuming, of course, somebody reads this someday!)  But at the same time my seedlings need some attention and the towels have been sitting in the dryer for 3 days now.  Can I add on one more project?  Can I sustain a blog?  If I actually get followers, will I disappoint them if/when I do not write?  Is it a project that I will naturally be drawn to or will it become a chore?  Can I truly commit?

Gardening was a chore when I was a child, but now I am naturally drawn to and committed to it.  I never feel like I have spent an inordinate amount of time on ANYTHING when it comes to gardening, I just wish that I had more of it (time, that is).  But blogging and gardening do have a couple of things in common. The first commonality that comes to mind is that there are tangible results.  When one writes or gardens, you can step back, take a deep breath, look at your work, and feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.  This is something that I rarely felt as a psychotherapist.  The changes the clients made were not nearly as tangible.  I certainly celebrated the successes of my former clients, but they were not a daily occurence.

One problem that I encountered as a psychotherapist was my inate extroversion.  I found the profession to be quite isolating actually, especially in private practice.  Despite "talking" all day, it was one-sided sharing and I couldn't exactly talk to my family and friends about "work."  See what I mean, here?  Mothering has been rather isolating as well.  I used to be quite social but now I do not have the time nor the budgetary availability to socialize the way I used to.  I believe that this will change as the children get older.  For now, I meet a lot of my socializing needs through Facebook.  My gardening helps to cure the "I can't hear myself think" (NOW I know what all those moms meant by that phrase), but not the social isolation.  So I am hoping that blogging will help fill that void that my inner extravert is screaming for.

Something that I may find pleasurable in blogging about gardening is that I can post pics of my garden.  I finally bought a grown-up camera (still in need of a grown-up lens) and I look forward to displaying my botanical creations to those who share an appreciation.  Now I just have to figure out how to get my pics from my computer to the slideshow without bypassing other websites.  Arggghhh!!!

Well, there you have it... My half-hearted commitment to this blog.  As an extravert, I welcome your input.